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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The Modern Man, The Modern Woman...









Women often tell me that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for that they are "A holes" etc... They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn't worked so now, the man can concentrate on pleasing them or leave. It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not. What is true is that, the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world. Career women that work in their department and in most aspects of industry, women are excelling. Old school males are crumbling and with them their innate self respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire. I am so so sure that any woman reading this may say, well it's a problem for men and they should deal with it. In totality I agree but, you cannot expect miracles instantly. Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout. Now, what does a man seek in a relationship? Man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right. I am talking in general here because there are some women who give love to the Max....and the man turns away....Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and majority of men don't like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don't believe any man who says otherwise. I am sure there are women saying, don't judge a book by its cover....you're right but I wouldn't want to wake up in the morning looking at a face or body thats not pleasant. Men are very visual. Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.The fact is, a modern man is seeking a reliable, sexy, single girl with whom he can have a long term relationship with. Not someone with siblings, very few. He wants to have fun, share his life and ultimately settle down. There are a few long term bachelors but not that many. The problem guys have is that the world has changed. They don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinner and they seek respect from their partner. Women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society, it is worth remembering that it takes, and always will take, two to tango.

On the other hand, women love men who have certain level of refinement. A man who is interested in becoming more than just his job. Seeking more out of life than just eat, sleep and work. Women seek a man with a stable career for financial security. Interested in what you have to say, a good listener and I am sure you women will agree in is Good in bed! Women love to be complimented by their date and on their appearance. After all, there is always something nice a man can say that is complimentary about a woman at any age. Females in many species do not readily have sex until the males have courted them for a while. These are the reasons why most females are not eager for a 'roll-in-the-hay' every time a male comes along. Acceptance of a sexual partner is a serious decision for females. Much more serious than for a male! What women really want from men is confidence. Confidence... not arrogance, not dominance, not useless bravado, not macho heroics. Women just love truly confident men. A woman likes to believe, a man is willing to deal with a lot of things, what really counts is that he is able to deal with her. A healthy, mature woman resists impassioned commitment to a man who is afraid of her sexuality, her intelligence, or her emotions. I think a lot of women feel like , "Treat us like people, not a receptacle. We're not here just for you to get off and walk away." "Women aren't turned on the same way men are turned on. We're different. So for us it's not just like shaking hands."
Today’s man doesn’t need to have confidence in his puffed up skills, his marksmanship, and he doesn’t even need to provide for the entire family in most cases. So for some they’ve lost track of where their self-confidence is coming from. This makes women want to see that self-confidence even more – because it’s not as obvious or abundant as it once had to be.
In short, what women really want is a man who is willing, even though he has fears, to stand up and face the trials and tribulations of each new tough day, and who is strong enough to allow her to be strong without fear of his resentment of her strength.

Boy, I can easily fire a great debate and I may be accused of being completely wrong but that is the beauty of opinions.