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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A Happy Relationship, What Does it Take....

Most think that relationships exist to make ourselves happy. When we find that special person, we believe that love will naturally grow. In relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. what's funny is, despite all the experiences in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all. Know who you are and what you really want. Many enter relationships hoping that it will give us a life, or make us feel better about themselves. It is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lose in a relationship, and become a pawn in someone else’s world. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it. Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy. Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved in return.
Every relationship is unique, and you may have your own way of knowing that a relationship is right for you. Even when a relationship is going well it is important that you still put effort into it and don't take the relationship for granted. Be aware of what you need in a relationship as well as what other people need. Trying to accept differences, especially between the people we like and ourselves, can help make the relationship healthier and stronger.

It may be good to remember that we are all different and the world could be really boring if we were all the same!


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